All-Hallows-Even: the scariest, funniest, sexiest, and most importantly, my favoritest holiday of the year. 

This day holds a special place in my heart not only because it is the best excuse to put on stupendous amounts of makeup, wear scandalous outfits, and simply behave like a Schuligan; but simply because on this single day of the year, anything and everything goes.

This year, 150 Schuligans went Steamwhistlin’ and took over the brewery by the train tracks. We came as hoards of angels and demons, as platoons of soldiers and soldierettes, and as flocks of beauty queens, bee queens, and drag queens.

Choosing a Halloween costume is never an easy feat. Should we go fanatic, dramatic, or fantastic? Should I cover it all or bear it all? Or should I simply pick an occupation of choice (flight attendant, police officer, doctor, nurse, secretary, scientist, athlete) and add some sugar and spice to it? Either way, as long as you put some time on it, you’re bound to have an awesome creation.

Some of the standout Schuligan costumes included: Three (Perverted) Men and a Baby, The Ever-Perky Captain Kirk and Spock, The 70’s Brothers from Another Mother, The Beauty Queens (Miss Demeanor, Miss Understood, Miss Conduct, and Miss Behaving), the plethora of heroes and villains (Joker, Two-Face, Super Woman), and our numerous renditions of Vampires (from Bram Stoker to Leslie Nielsen).

And me? Well, according to a trusted source, I resemble one of the characters from one of the bestselling animations of the year. And so, a week before the party, I stopped by my friendly neighborhood Value Village and picked up a shirt, shorts, boots, colored laces, buttons, balloons, a baseball cap, a scarf, a shawl, some key chains, a trumpet, a plastic cup, a water bottle, a flag, a map, binoculars, a flashlight, and a dog (all for $25) and put my friend’s theory to the test. The result? Well, let’s just say Russell is now my middle name.

You certainly missed out on a spooktacular night if you did not join us this year. However, you can at least see some of the crazy costumes on my Flickr account. Just know that next year you better put on your best Joker face, your shiniest MJ gloves, your slickest Elvis hair, your tallest stilettos, your shortest skirts, your longest beards, and your pointiest horns – because only then will you truly fit in.

See you (but not recognize you) next Halloween.

Written for The Insider - November 2009